Saturday, September 30, 2017

Celebrity Interview by Niharika 16KD1A05C2 as Part of II ECP Course 2017 18@ ELCS Lab Lendi 2

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‘Harry Potter’ Hogwarts House Robe Onesies Are As Magical As They Sound

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If you're a) lazy, b) without a Halloween costume, and c) a fan of , then boy do I have some good news for you: A Hogwarts robe onesie exists in the Muggle world, and it's available for purchase right now. You know what this means, don't you? Not only do you not have to try even a little bit when it comes to putting together your  Halloween costume, you also get to have maximum cozy pajama times in a distinctly magical fashion.

HelloGiggles noticed that this magical garment is currently for sale on ThinkGeek.com for the reasonable price of $49.99. (And if you think that price is a little steep, don't forget you are buying a hooded sweatshirt, sweatpants, AND booties, all in one package.) It comes complete with a fake printed tie, shirt, and sweater across the chest, with a House emblem over the wearer's heart. Sadly, only Gryffindor and Slytherin robe onesies are available at this time, leaving us Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff identifying wizards forgotten about, like always. Ugh, what I would give for a little representation, am I right? Just kidding. Representation of women and minorities in media is a serious problem that isn't the same as a fictional wizard house. But still.

ThinkGeek

Not only is this an amazing piece of merchandise that makes me love capitalism more than I ever thought I would, it also come with an amazing product description on ThinkGeek.com that will make an fan smile. The product description reads,

What do Hogwarts students wear when they're hanging out on the weekend? These loungers, of course! We have to admit, being magically inclined would be really helpful when getting dressed. Clothes have sat in a pile for the last week? No problem. Use a spell to straighten out the wrinkles. Use a spell to instantly dry off when you get out of the shower. Use a spell to remove all the pet hair before you leave the house. Yet more reasons we're sad to be Muggles.

Enjoy the magic of this Harry Potter Slytherin Onesie Lounger that's a hoodie, pants, and shoes transmogrified into a single piece of clothing. Even better, this lounger gives the illusion that you're wearing your Slytherin House robes, when you're really in this super-comfy fleece. It'll be our secret. (Note: not protected by the Official Magical Secrets Act.)

Is that or is that not the best product description you've ever read? And no, ThinkGeek is not paying, I just genuinely think this product and product description is really awesome. Who doesn't want to be both repping their Hogwarts house AND magically comfy at the same time?

And like I said, now is the perfect time to buy one of these babies, too, with Halloween right around the corner. You know DIY Harry Potter costume ideas list I put together for y'all? Yeah, forget about all that Goodwill hunting and closet-digging crap. This onesie would make things 

My only critiques would be to again, get these in Ravenclaw colors. I'm not prepared to go around repping Gryffindor jocks or Slytherin snakes like some kind of phony poser. And second, ThinkGeek, would you consider maybe adding some pet sized onesie robes to your collection? No, I do not actually own a pet this time, but I would just feel a lot more comfortable with this product endorsement with the knowledge that somewhere in the world, dogs and cats were proudly donning their Hogwarts house colors somewhere in the world. I wrote you this flattering article, ThinkGeek, so I think the least you can do for me is crank out some magical pet-sized onesies.

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Here are the 30 most powerful photos of the NFL players who protested Sunday

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In response to President Donald Trump’s attacks this weekend on the NFL and its players who kneel during the national anthem, the players fought back in a way that’s become awfully familiar. They protested by kneeling and/or linking arms while the national anthems played Sunday, as the hashtag #TakeAKnee trended on Twitter.

Meanwhile, CBS and Fox broadcast the anthems, a pregame moment neither network usually shows.

The protests started Sunday morning when the Ravens and the Jaguars kicked off Week 3 from London’s Wembley Stadium. Players from both teams locked arms during the national anthem, multiple Baltimore players knelt, and Jacksonville owner Shad Khan—a Trump donor—showed solidarity with his employees.

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Once the game started, Khan released this statement.

The Steelers, meanwhile, simply decided to sit out the national anthem.

Which is apparently against the league rules.

Here were other teams and players locking arms and protesting.

Before the games began, Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers, one of the best players in the league, posted this on Instagram.

Seahawks coach Pete Carroll, meanwhile, released this statement.

Related video

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But the one person who started the national conversation about players kneeling during the national anthem wasn’t involved in the protests on Sunday. That’s because Colin Kaepernick is not currently employed.

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Romney’s response to Trump’s white supremacist comments is essential reading.

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Mitt Romney and President Donald Trump have always had a somewhat peculiar relationship.

When Romney ran for president in 2012, Trump alternated between insulting the former Massachusetts governor and ultimately offering his endorsement. Similarly, when Trump campaigned in 2016, Romney slammed Trump's policies and unwillingness to release his tax returns, but cozied up to him after the election.

"Frenemies" is probably the most accurate way to describe their relationship.

Trump and Romney met for dinner in November 2016. The awkward look sums up the relationship pretty well. Photo by Drew Angerer/Getty Images.

After managing to (mostly) bite his tongue over Trump's tumultuous first months in office, Romney laid into him with a fiery Facebook post.

At issue was Trump's moral character and the signal he sent to white supremacists and neo-Nazis in the wake of the Charlottesville protests.

I will dispense for now from discussion of the moral character of the president's Charlottesville statements. Whether he...

Posted by Mitt Romney on Friday, August 18, 2017

There are some key takeaways from Romney's post.

1. "Whether he intended to or not, what he communicated caused racists to rejoice, minorities to weep, and the vast heart of America to mourn."

Getting right to the heart of the matter, Romney directly called out Trump on the message sent to the white supremacist community. Groups picked up on Trump's dog-whistle signals and reacted accordingly.

"His apologists strain to explain that he didn't mean what we heard. But what we heard is now the reality, and unless it is addressed by the president as such, with unprecedented candor and strength, there may commence an unraveling of our national fabric."

Trump during his now-infamous press conference on Aug. 15. Photo by Drew Angerer/Getty Images.

2. "The leaders of our branches of military service have spoken immediately and forcefully, repudiating the implications of the president's words."

It's not every day military leadership is forced to clarify or rebuke something said by the commander in chief, but that's where things stand today. While many of their comments were framed as being simply about having zero tolerance for racism, it's pretty clear who they were referencing.

"[T]he morale and commitment of our forces — made up and sustained by men and women of all races — could be in the balance. Our allies around the world are stunned and our enemies celebrate; America's ability to help secure a peaceful and prosperous world is diminished."

A makeshift memorial to Heather Heyer, who died after being struck by a car driven by an alleged white supremacist on Aug. 12, 2017. Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images.

3. "In homes across the nation, children are asking their parents what this means."

The president is supposed to be someone we can all look up to, who we can count on to represent all Americans. Trump's first 200 days in office show that his loyalties lie with his core base of supporters and no one else. Romney's point touches on the fact that the divisiveness being forged by Trump's statements could do lasting harm to the country.

"Jews, blacks, Hispanics, Muslims are as much a part of America as whites and Protestants. But today they wonder. Where might this lead? To bitterness and tears, or perhaps to anger and violence?"

White nationalist Richard Spencer is escorted by police out of the Aug. 12, 2017, rally in Charlottesville, Virginia. Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images.

4. "He should address the American people, acknowledge that he was wrong, apologize."

If there's one thing Trump doesn't do well, it's apologize. In fact, he views apologies as a sign of weakness, instead choosing to double- and triple-down on his flubs. Romney is right: Trump should apologize; he won't though.

"[T]here is no conceivable comparison or moral equivalency between the Nazis — who brutally murdered millions of Jews and who hundreds of thousands of Americans gave their lives to defeat — and the counter-protestors who were outraged to see fools parading the Nazi flag, Nazi armband and Nazi salute."

5. "This is a defining moment for President Trump. But much more than that, it is a moment that will define America in the hearts of our children."

It's hard to overstate the importance of this situation. Trump has essentially said there is some equivalency between white supremacists and people who fight against racism. That's more than just despicable, it's dangerous. It's on him to make this right and not just for the sake of his own political career, but for the sake of the country he purports to lead.

"They are watching, our soldiers are watching, the world is watching. Mr. President, act now for the good of the country."

People hold a vigil outside the White House on Aug. 13, 2017. Photo by Zach Gibson/AFP/Getty Images.

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Hugh Hefner’s 31-Year-Old Widow Has Not Won The Gold Digger Lottery

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When Hugh Hefner’s first marriage to his childhood sweetheart Mildred Williams ended in divorce in 1959, he began to live the Playboy lifestyle that we have all come to associate with the world’s most famous bachelor.

Against the odds he decided to tie the knot again in 1989, marrying Playmate of the Year Kimberly Conrad, only to separate in 1998 after having two children together. Following their divorce, Hefner said that he preferred to be single. Then in his seventies, he continued to date women a fraction of his age including Holly Madison, Kendra Wilkinson and Bridget Marquardt, pictured below, whose relationships with him were famously depicted on The Girls Next Door. Although Hefner had three live in girlfriends, Madison was his “number one girlfriend”, and the two shared a more serious relationship. Despite their 53-year age gap, she wanted to marry the Playboy mogul and have his children. However, Hefner was unwilling to marry again, and when doctors confirmed that his sperm was no longer viable, Madison left him after seven years together. This came shortly after Wilkinson and Marquardt also decided to end their relationships with the man who made them household names. The trio were almost immediately replaced by then 19-year-old twin playmates Kristina and Karissa Shannon and 23-year-old Crystal Harris, with Harris taking Madison’s place as Hefner’s number one girlfriend. Harris went on to become a Playmate, posing for the December 2009 issue of Playboy. Just two years into his relationship with Crystal, Hefner did the unthinkable and proposed. This came as a surprise to Crystal who claimed that she was not looking to marry the Playboy founder, but she accepted the proposal anyway. But Hefner’s wife-to-be got cold feet five days before their wedding in 2011 and left Hefner during one of his movie nights. She then gave a shocking interview to Howard Stern, claiming that the two only ever slept together once. “I have never seen him naked… I am not turned on by Hef. Sorry,” she revealed to Stern. Harris publicly apologised for her comments and ended up marrying Hefner in December 2012, despite friends warning the Playboy founder not to. But, Hefner, clearly a clever man, made sure that he wasn’t going to be taken for a ride… Hefner and Harris’ 60-year age gap caused many to believe that she was nothing more than a gold digger. This was feeling was intensified after her interview with Stern, which only served to confirm suspicions that their relationship was not genuine. However, as the founder of one of America’s most successful publications, Hefner ensured that an ironclad prenup was in place before the two tied the knot, and in another bitter twist, Harris was not added to the multi-millionaire’s will. Hefner’s $43 million fortune will be divided between his four children, the University of Southern California and a list of  charities. The Playboy Mansion was sold in 2016 for $100 million. It is not known what will happen to that money. At one point, Hefner was worth $200 million, but lost a sizeable portion of his fortune when the popularity of Playboy declined – a change which can undoubtedly be attributed to the availability of pornography on the Internet. When asked why she finally decided to marry Hefner, Harris said, “Well for me it meant more security, knowing that I am the one for him. There are always girls in and out and always the feeling of maybe being replaced… And he made sure I didn’t feel that way anymore and that was what the wedding was all about.” Mr and Mrs Hefner went on to share a seemingly happy four and half year marriage before Hefner’s death on September 27. “I made the commitment, quite frankly, because I felt that I had, in a previous relationship with Holly, not been there for her in a way that she wanted me to be,” Hefner said. “All our friends think it’s made in heaven,” Hefner added. “It’s only people who don’t know us, who simply see us as stereotypes in terms of age and beauty… I just feel very, very fortunate to have found her at this stage in my life. I saved the best till last.” Madison was positive about her relationship with Hefner until 2015 when she released an explosive tell-all, Down the Rabbit Hole, which portrayed Hefner has a manipulator who pitted his girlfriends against each other for his own gain. She has yet to publicly comment about her former partner’s death.

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The Biggest Hot Mess On ‘Southern Charm’ Isn’t Returning Next Season

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fans-- who are you? Oh. There, I see you, all 5 of you-- I've got some problem. Our preferred hot mess, Landon Clements, will not be going back to the program for season 5 . Truthfully I cannot inform how I feel about this news. On the one hand, Landon at finest irritates me whenever she opens her mouth and even appears on screen, and at worst she actively upsets me and makes me enter into a rage blackout. On the other hand, she is a strolling hot mess, which is excellent for TELEVISION drama. Particularly thinking about has essentially absolutely no of the abovementioned drama. Like, now that Kathryn's (slightly) sane, who is going to bring the flair? Shep and his continuous parade of thots? No, he's got his own spin-off to concentrate on. Austen and Chelsea? They hardly even go here. Cameran? Well, I suggest, pregnancy brain is a stereotype, so fine possibly we've got something here, however it's not appealing.

Landon informed Bravo's "I have actually chosen to go back to California where I will be pursuing my profession in property realty. I just recently restored my license and am enjoyed sign up with the group at CLIMB Real Estate." Is that her daddy's company? The exact same one she got a cool hundred grand from for babysitting an uninhabited lot? I cannot precisely blame her for going after that simple paper since if so. As well as, where can I send my resume? Landon includes, "While I won’ t be going back to, I ’ m thrilled for this next chapter in my life. ” Honestly, possibly the embarassment of getting turned down by Shep and Thomas was simply excessive to bear. #BeenThere

As unfortunate as I am to see our preferred intoxicated auntie carry on to greener pastures (response: just slightly unfortunate tbh), I am delighted and truthfully shocked that she woke the screw up and recognized there's no cash to be made in the travel and way of life blog site service. (Says the woman presently composing for a way of life blog site.) In the meantime we do not have information on who, if anybody, will change Landon, so remain tuned on more updates from Vanderpump Rules' less fascinating and appealing cousin.

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Most Awkward Embarrassing Celebrity Compilation || 2017

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There Will Come A Time After Your Breakup When You Can Breathe Again

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TOP 13 Hottest Korean celebrity couples of 2017 so far

13 Hottest Korean celebrity couples of 2017

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23 things non-English-speaking immigrants gave us that we totally don’t need. Not at all.

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In a press conference Aug. 2, President Trump announced his support for a new immigration system that would "favor applicants who speak English."

Photo by Jim Watson/Getty Images.

And not a moment too soon.

It's high time foreigners stop coming here with their funny accents, broken sentences, and inability to read the complete works of Marcel Proust, mucking things up for the rest of us.

Naysayers, of course, will note that regardless of their English skills immigrants are not stealing American jobs; they're simply doing different ones. And that they commit crime at lower rates than native born Americans. And that Proust is French.

But, really, that's all besides Trump's point, which is that this is America. We speak English, and damn it, we speak English in America.

"But what," the naysayers may continue naysaying, "about all the myriad diverse, essential contributions from non-native-English-speaking immigrants to our national economy, culture, and idea throughout history that have shaped and continue to shape our way of life?"

Simple.

Don't need 'em!

1. Who really needs to Google anything ever?

Douchey glasses aside, Google co-founder Sergey Brin was born in Russia, speaking Russian. Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images.

2. Or look anything up on Yahoo. Who needs web search these days?

Jerry Yang reportedly only knew one word of English when he moved to the U.S. in 1968. Photo by Drew Angerer/Getty Images.

3. The Pulitzer Prize? Named after a German-speaking immigrant? No big. Don't need an award for fake news anyway.

Lookin' at you, Joey Pulitzer. Photo via Hulton Archive/Getty Images.

4. Speaking of German-speaking immigrants, we could also take or leave the atomic bomb, to be honest.

I'm sure everything would have been fine if pioneering nuclear physicist Albert Einstein had stayed in Germany. Photo via Hulton Archive/Getty Images.

5. And blue jeans.

Levi Strauss spoke German and invented America's pant. Photo by Mike Mozart/Flickr.

6. Definitely wouldn't be too tragic to lose the entire English-language filmography of Antonio Banderas.

Banderas learned his lines phonetically when starting out in Hollywood. Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images.

7. Or "That 70s Show," "Family Guy," and all those weirdly sensual Jim Beam commercials.

Mila Kunis moved to the U.S. from Ukraine and learned English during her first year in school. Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images.

8. And we could easily do with out all 137 Terminator movies and eight years of oversight for our largest state economy too.

Arnold Schwarzenegger and his Austrian musculature spoke only "a little English" when they arrived here in 1968. Photo by AFP/Getty Images.

9. "God Bless America" is really an overrated song that we don't need.

Russian-born Irving Berlin also wrote "White Christmas," which is also overrated. Photo by Henry Guttmann/Getty Images.

10. Come to think of it, so is "Jump."

Eddie Van Halen is Dutch! Who knew? Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images.

11. And Budweiser beer isn't iconically American at all (regardless of how it tastes).

That goopy Super Bowl ad was right about Adolphus Busch trudging from Germany to the U.S. to invent the world's most medium beer. Photo by Dorisall/Wikimedia Commons.

12. A combined 3,060 singles, doubles, triples, and home runs over 16 years playing America's pastime? Take it or leave it.

Ichiro Suzuki only studied English through middle school in Japan, and learned to speak fluently once he arrived in the U.S. Photo by Otto Greule Jr./Getty Images.

13. The most devastating cut-fastball in the Major League history? That stays in Panama, and really, who cares?

Mariano Rivera didn't speak a word of English and had never flown before coming to pitch for the Yankees in 1990. Photo by Jeff Carlick/Getty Images.

14. No one, that's who. Nor should anyone care about 608 gloriously struck home runs.

Albert Pujols moved to the U.S. from the Dominican Republic when he was 16 and learned English in high school. Photo by Stephen Dunn/Getty Images.

15. Come to think of it, the accomplishments of, like, 30% of all baseball players and the countless hours of bonding opportunities for parents and kids from Pacific Northwest to Miami they provide are just not that essential, honestly.

David Ortiz, Masahiro Tanaka, and Yasiel Puig repping Boston, New York and L.A. Photo by Jim McIsaac/Getty Images; Stephen Lam/Getty Images; Harry How/Getty Images.

16. Nor is this suspiciously low-effort dunk.

17. Nor, really, are lettuce, tomatoes, oranges, garlic, apples, lemons, cherries, corn, peaches, broccoli, plums, Swiss chard, watermelons, scallions, cranberries, parsley, and nectarines essential to our lives.

According to a Pew Research Center study, over 40% of farm workers in some states are undocumented. Estimates peg the total share of foreign-born farm workers between 70% and 90%. Photo by David McNew/Getty Images.

18. Or railroads that carry freight and Amish people across the country.

Thousands of Chinese immigrant laborers helped build America's rail network. Photo by Loco Steve/Flickr.

19. Or pastrami sandwiches.

Thanks, Yiddish-speakers! Photo by Spencer Platt/Getty Images.

20. Or chicken parmesan.

Thanks, Neopolitan-speakers! Photo by jeffreyw/Flickr.

21. Or P.F. Chang's ... and much of modern Chinese cuisine.

Cecilia Chang "spoke little English" when she immigrated to San Francisco in the '60s. She went on to introduce Americans to a variety of classic Chinese dishes. Her son Philip co-founded P.F. Chang's in 1993. Photo by M.O. Stevens/Wikimedia Commons.

22. Or nearly a quarter of the soldiers who fought to end slavery and establish the modern United States.

Immigrants speaking weird languages helped save the union. Photo via Library of Congress/Getty Images.

23. Or the military strategy that helped us win our independence in the first place.

Pictured: French General and noted code word Rochambeau and Marquis de Lafayette, Lancelot of the revolutionary set. Photo via Hulton Archive.

As the Founders said 261 years ago on that fateful July day in Independence Hall: "Meh, being British wouldn't be so bad!"

Non-native English speakers have been propping up, improving, and straight-up saving this country since (actual) day one.

The language you speak when you land in a new country doesn't predict how valuable an American you can be, and never did.

Immigrants, whether they can recite "The Wanderings of Oisin" from memory or can't read a children's book, are the lifeblood of this country.

Instead of slamming the door in their face, we should be thanking them for what they gave us.

Including America.

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What Alec Baldwin got right and wrong about the power of art at the Emmys.

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Alec Baldwin is getting a lot of press following the jabs he took at President Donald Trump in his acceptance speech for Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series at this year's Emmys.

During Trump's time hosting "The Apprentice," he was nominated for two Emmys but never won. Trump has often detailed his grievances with the award show, saying, "The Emmys have no credibility"; arguing that he didn't win because of politics; and, in 2012, even blaming the show's "bad ratings" on the fact that he wasn't nominated that year. But Trump's inability to lose graciously is not what we need to talk about right now.

In the closing moments of Baldwin's speech, he kinda missed the mark on something vitally important.

Baldwin wrapped his speech with a message of hope about the power of art, but in doing so, downplayed something else (emphasis added):

"I always remember what someone told me — that is when you die you don’t remember a bill that Congress passed or a decision the Supreme Court made or an address made by the president. You remember a song. You remember a line from a movie. You remember a play. You remember a book. A painting. A poem. What we do is important. And for all of you out there in motion pictures and television, don’t stop doing what you are doing. The audience is counting on you."

Baldwin accepts the award for his portrayal of Trump. Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images.

The power of art is a nice sentiment, especially at an award show celebrating just that, but downplaying the significance of legislation and court decisions is a luxury many cannot afford.

While Baldwin may be right — a poem or TV show may stick in our brains more than a piece of legislation — it's pieces of legislation that truly have an effect on our lives and can alter everything from our quality of living to how long we live. A Supreme Court decision may one day determine once and for all whether or not it's legal to deny me housing, employment, health care, or access to public accommodations protections simply because I'm transgender. Legislation being proposed in Congress could gut access to health care for low-income individuals who rely on Medicaid or any number of other social programs.

Recipients of Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals protections may be pulled away from the only home they've known if legislation doesn't soon grant them a more permanent status in America. Some members of Congress are moving to turn the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) into a shell of what it once was, making the world a lot less accessible to millions of people. As Robyn Powell of Rewire wrote of the proposed ADA changes, "Never in my life as a disabled woman have I been so terrified of losing my civil rights as I am now."

Even the songs, movies, plays, books, paintings, and poems Baldwin championed in his speech are at risk of losing funding, depending on what moves the government makes when it comes to budgeting.

Government legislation matters, and good legislation affects our lives in ways that aren't always apparent.

For instance, during a July debate between conservative commentator Tomi Lahren and comedian Chelsea Handler, Lahren unwittingly admitted that she benefits from the Affordable Care Act.

Asked whether or not she had health insurance, Lahren replied, "Luckily, I am 24, so I am still on my parents'." That's thanks to a provision in the ACA that allows people to stay on their parents' plans until they're 26. Millions of people benefit from that change, and it's such a commonsense, helpful bit of legislation that it's easy to forget things haven't always been this way. It's not something we should take for granted.

Baldwin speaks at January's "We Stand United" rally outside Trump International Hotel and Tower in New York. Photo by Bryan R. Smith/AFP/Getty Images.

It's not as though Baldwin is aloof here, and he would almost certainly agree that things like court rulings and pieces of legislation can affect us in both positive and negative ways — even some that we might not be immediately aware of. Baldwin, famously, is open about his personal politics. He's been an outspoken proponent of addressing climate change and even protested Trump's inauguration. There is no doubt that he understands the power of government — for good and for bad. It's safe to say that his speech was not meant to downplay those effects.

The truth is, however, that there are people who wonder why everything has to be about politics lately. The answer is simple: Millions of lives hang in the balance. Art is important, but we can't forget the lives that can be drastically affected by various court decisions and legislation.

Watch Baldwin's acceptance speech below.

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How To Make Sure Your Date Doesn’t Try To Kiss You Without Pulling The Cheek Turn

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If youre anything like me, you can hardly endure like, 96% of the human population unless they really have something to use you. Like a totally free meal. Truthfully, Im not even requesting for that much, particularly because Ive needed to endure a great deal of bullshit in this reason of a dating scene throughout the years, so actually, its the least a man might do.

Weve worked our whole pretend adult lives on the best ways to round the bases by the end of a feared very first dateor even the best ways to get an easy text back, due to the fact that obviously that idea is now as tiresome as a goddamn calculus formula. In some cases life backfires, and we end up being sorry for all of our doubtful choices, consisting of the one thats sitting right in front of us, continuously chewing his romaine lettuce. In any comparable case, terminating the objective is a must, particularly if hes ready to try some suave relocation by the time the well this was fantastic fib rolls around. Generally exactly what Im about to inform you to do is whatever youve been taught to do on a very first date, however I cant simply stop here due to the fact that Im getting paid per hour, and bitches got ta consume. In order to extra yourself the fucking painful cheek turn at the end of the longest 2 hours of your life, Ive develop all the important things Ive unconsciously done prior to that will guarantee no physical contact will follow, without leaving you seeming like a total c-word. Youll be so appreciative you read this as youre pleasantly ghosting declining him through text in the future.

** This is to state you didnt currently go to the restroom to "refurbish" and GTFO by method of back window.

1. Do not Ask Him About Himself

If theres something I genuinely pride myself on, besides camouflaging a breakfast blackout every Sunday, its the capability to speak about myself for hours on end. When he runs through a list of task interview concerns as if he didnt currently stalk you on social media in advance, this will particularly come in helpful. Offer brief Cliffnote responses, when you conclude a concern, do not subsequent with the very same concern. Do not follow up with any concern. The uncomfortable silence between inhaling your vodka soda(s) will own him to rake through his entre and avoid dessert in no time.

2. Usage Body Language Cues

I when dated a person who babbled on about his Costco cleaner for like, 45 minutes directly. HIS FUCKING STEAMER. I do not know for sure, however there was prob a string of drool hanging from my mouth from dozing off, and I want I was making this shit up. This is the part of the date where your persistent resting bitch face comes in excellent usage. Act like hes talking about the cleaner if you have to. Perhaps prop your chin up on your hand, whip out that unsightly double-chin yawn, IDK, examine your ratio of Instagram prefers to minutes for all I care. Point future taken.

3. Demand Splitting The Bill

Nothing states pal zoned, motherfucker like demanding going halfsies. Like, yeah, enduring a monstrosity of a date without taking a butter knife to your eyeball must make you a totally free meal at the minimum, however hell get the message clear and loud if you simply presented some money. Oh, and this can likewise be utilized as a test to see if he in fact lets you paygod, Im the worst.

4. Provide Him A False Time Constraint

Heres the important things: I picked composing as a profession due to the fact that its more affordable than treatment and my good friends are ill of my relentless bitching. I might reside on a rigorous diet plan of whatever I can suit my handbag from the workplace snack bar, however I utilize my occupation to its complete benefit (besides times like now when I kindly impart my substantial knowledge upon you for a small charge), and will constantly blame cutting a bad date brief on my "due dates" when the scenario is 9-1-1. 9 times out of 10, youll understand within the very first 5 minutes of a date if you can hardly endure some narc who appeared in pink Chubbies to discuss his brand-new individual training organisation prior to the bread even comes. I guarantee, a time restriction is a 100% tested fast dip-out when youre being suffocated by a person who shit on the service all night and offered an 8% suggestion.

5. Play The "Sick" Card

Has anybody in the history of anybody ever fucked with somebody who states they have diarrhea? No. Case closed.

6. Be A Hot Mess

Now is the time to avoid to like, year 2 of a relationship timeline and be yourself aka who you actually are when your roomie runs out town for a week. Have no idea exactly what Im speaking about? Yeah fucking. Provide your woman bits a little scratch, choose the black mascara goop our of your eye crevice and clean it on your trousers, I do not fucking care. Simply funnel your real genuine self aka Marlon Wayans in. Or simply do as I would get and do wiped out on his cent.

7. Be An Ugly Mess

Remember that one time you discovered your exs blonde side chick and you were so mad, you catapulted a rock through his vehicle window? You understand, the sort of shit you require to the tomb? Inform him. Completely information. Possibly include your political views out there while youre at it. Oh, and while youre ahead, let him understand that your moms and dads divorce was the root of all your trust concerns and your utter disgust of the male types as a whole. Absolutely nothing is a larger boner killer than gushing your luggage out onto the table prior to he even understands exactly what you provide for a living. This man will be Forrest Gump-ing his ass out the door prior to you even have a possibility to state, own safe!

8. Start Talking Futuristic &&Become Clingy

If you actually wish to nix this person, youre going to need to do some troubleshooting. Far back, a smart female when talented a guy she hardly understood with a love fern and a whole Photoshopped household album just to fall in love in the procedure of pressing him away, since its a RomCom so JK on that. Im not stating you need to go FULL Kate Hudson on his ass, however pointing out infant fever on the very first date will absolutely assist get you one action more detailed. As soon as you talk about any sort of future dedication that includes him and/or bringing him to your finest good friend's wedding event in April, hell likewise most likely shit himself. You get exactly what Im putting down, however on the other side, if he really accepts invest a weekend with your closest buddies commemorating their love after a very first date, then weve grew issues, and I do not earn money enough to assist you with that.

Happy curving!

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